Prelude: Nilnarien
by Sitara
Summary: **REVISED** A prelude to one of my other stories on FFnet. But of course, this one stands out on its own. will have a SAD ending... WIP.
1. Prologue

A/N: This chapter and later chapters shall be in our dear prince's point of view (imagine, being in the head of Legolas! Haha.) , telling the present and retelling his version of his past. Comments and flames shall be much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, and all etceras associated with it. So here, without further ado, I present:

Prelude: Nilnarien

By: Sitara

Prologue

A beautiful evening in Minas Tirith, beautiful even for a dwelling of men. The night is not pitch black as it usually is, as a full shimmering orb holds itself high over the heavens. Silver moonbeams illuminate the darkness into a lovely dark blue, casting its tones to everything that stand below it. For once, the darkness does not seem as grim or dreadful as before. The stars, in their vigil onwards the night seem to shine more brightly this evening. Here in the Eastern Lands of Gondor. 

The palace of Minas Tirith holds a fairly large assembly of people. Elves, wizards, dwarves, hobbits and men, all excited and watching in complete silence. Even the earth seems to be in a fairly good disposition for this night. The usual tempests that come during this time of the year barely blow stronger than a cooling breeze, enthralling the senses at how a simple touch could awaken such sensations.

We are at the gardens, which have been specially prepared to hold this most beloved gathering. Everything is bathed in the same silvery blue glow that seems to be everywhere in this land; candles placed everywhere just so there would be enough light to see in. In the center of the garden there stands a circular platform, and there, dressed in the ceremonial robes of Gondor, our reason for arriving in this far land.

I honestly never thought that this day would come to pass at all. But I am happy for them nonetheless. Although…

Weddings are told to be happy occasions, and indeed 'tis what they are. Even with this something tugging in my heart, making me uneasy…

But what is there to be uneasy about? This land shall be safe from now on…now with a king and queen to see it through. I watch along with the others, admiring the happy couple at the altar.

Lady Evenstar holds Aragorn—no, Lord Elessar's hand as the ceremony went on, her husband to be smiling gently from ear to ear.

I look away.

Not out of disgust, or jealousy. Not at all, for they deserved each other. They had both been through so much to be together… and I am truly happy for them, and I give them all the blessings in my true being that I can give. The blessings of a prince, the prince of a slowly dying race. I shake my head, not letting myself get into those thoughts. I would not be the one to spoil the happy atmosphere of this occasion.

Aragorn is a close comrade, I know he will be able to serve his people. Lady Arwen, a dear friend for the longest of times, I know that she will be truly and finally complete in his arms. They look perfect together. Something you knew that Fate had her own hands bring together. They look perfect. And that might be what they are.

And there it is again, something nagging at me… making me feel sick from the pounding in my heart. 

I catch a glimpse of Gandalf and the hobbits, the four small ones getting quite restless. I smile, feeling fond of those jovial folk. Master Dwarf stands next to me, his head bowed down in reverence of the affair. A smile on his lips hardly seen through his scraggly beard. 

Everyone smiling; a strange marvel it seems…for not many have been smiling these past years. The One ring is no more, a reason in itself to celebrate the times once again. The One ring is no more… what of us now? The Dark Lord has fallen, but still so much lies before us, unsure.

Middle Earth will be safe. I can do nothing but place my faith in the mortals…that they would learn to watch over the earthen home that we call our own. I place my faith in them, for it is their turn…but somehow…inside me, I know that nothing shall ever be the same again. I can feel it; the lands are changing as swiftly as the times are fading. The last relics of the Third Age will fall into ruin not to far from now… It bothers me to think that all my people and kindred have worked hard upon will now disappear into the mists… But to this there is nothing that I can do. I fear for the future, for it is so out of sight. 

I look around me, seeing everything in a new light. It seems that even the stars change their place in the sky… Whether this is a blessing or bad omen, I do not know. 

A voice up front catches my attention, I turn up my head just in time to see the two lovers look at each other, tears in their eyes. I can feel my heart pound even faster, harder. I stare at them silently, ignoring the sickening wrench in my heart as thoughts start forming in my mind.

__

Nilnarien…

Arwen smiles, as Lord Elessar speaks his vow of undying love to her, and she follows suit. 

"—you are my other half—"

I jolt upright, shaking my head, gently scolding myself. I swear I can almost hear Nilnarien's voice. 

"—and so I promise you my everlasting love—"

Letting out a shaky breath is all I can do to stop myself from going insane. 

__

Legolas…stop. 

Then suddenly it is *her* standing next to Aragorn, and I in his place. 

She appears as I remember her, long hair as pale as silver and as bright as the sunbeams in Lothlorien. Sharp gray eyes that remind me of winter in summer…and of the spring in winter. A small smiling mouth…and I feel her hand against mine…

It is Gimli's voice that brings me out of my wishful thinking. 

"What's wrong with you, elf?" The dwarf whispers, quite loudly. 

__

That will never happen, because she is never coming back… Legolas, you imbecile…

Lost again in my own thoughts, I'm afraid that I do not answer my friend's question or even acknowledge his presence. Something in fact, that I should know all too well by now as folly against me. That dwarf could be so impatient. 

"I say!" Gimli hisses louder as I figured he would, leaning toward me in a menacing stance. "You would do well to listen to the rite at least, o prince! For it seems you have no intention of listening to me today!" 

I fight back a blush creeping up my cheeks as he had said it quite loudly, and a few turn to look at the prince who wold not listen to the aggravated dwarf nor the marriage rites. 

"I ask again elf, what is wrong with you this evening?" 

"N-nothing." I lie. My voice is shaking, I know it. "I'm fine." I do not dare look up just then, knowing Gimli's gaze would still be on me. He would know then for sure that I am not as fine as I said I was. Instead I let my mind concentrate on what was happening in front.

The bride and groom's voices are still speaking softly. I contain my uneasiness once again, for I swear I hear Nilnarien's voice in Arwen's, softly drifting through the breeze. And silently I pray, that when I look up again she would be standing before me… I do not know why, but suddenly the centuries of hurt come crashing back. I look up… silently wishing, hoping… maybe the Valar will give me just one glimpse…

But of course she is not there. No, she never will be. Only Lord Elessar and Lady Arwen, arm in arm smiling greatly as they pull away from each other's kiss. They turn to the crowd, which gives them an applause. 

I feel the soft zephyr blow ever so gently, caressing my cheeks. I cannot resist the urge to close my eyes and sigh. The wind…

The wind always reminded me of her. 

It is with this dawning that makes my heart thump again, just as another soft breeze rushes past my face. 

"Nilnarien." I murmur through closed eyelids, saying her name out loud again for the first time in decades. I stop suddenly, surprised at how the name alone pierced me. 

__

Stop, I command myself. _You're driving yourself crazy, foolish elf! Insane!_

I force my eyes open, away from that train of thought. But find myself staring into a completely different scene. Images from the far back of my mind, images that I had hid and pushed away from myself, somehow find themselves before my eyes. And there I am, unable to move from shock.

***

The blues and silver shades of Gondor at night were replaced by the prevalent warm green, gold and brown of my home. Mirkwood. It seemed I had left my physical self in Gondor, I stand staring as my fellows rejoice in some sort of feast… 'twas a vision of things already past, I realize, feeling everything here so familiar.

A sudden cheer erupts from the crowd as the music stops, the faint golden glow of lights twinkle overhead. The dancers stop as well, each bowing to their partner.

I feel my heart in my throat. I know what is next.

A pair in the middle of the dance floor stands clapping with the rest. A tall blonde elf smiles, bowing to the lady elf who curtsies to him, all smiles. The cheer rises as the two bow to the gathering of elves before them, and hand in hand, laughing in the joy of the whole thing.

I stare at her, scared to lose her from my sight. Suddenly the past comes rushing back. 

Realizing what is happening, I blink.

***

And Gondor reappears. 

The crowd here is cheering as well, as the Lord and Lady step down from the platform. Hand in hand, they stop before their guests, their eyes shining, lips curved into a bright smile. Beside me, Gimli is almost roaring in good-natured laughter, clapping his hands together. Aragorn and Arwen bow to those before them as King and Queen of Gondor.

I smile, and cheer along.

With a flicker of light, I am back in my memories of Mirkwood. 

***

The lady elf laughs after placing a quick kiss on the blonde elf prince's cheek, seeing him turn scarlet. 

***

Arwen smiles as a bashful Aragorn holds a hand to his cheek where his new wife had placed a chaste kiss. 

The guests laugh pleasingly.

***

I feel my head spin as the scene changes from Gondor to Mirkwood to Gondor and to Mirkwood back again. The rush of images come faster and the sound of the two places blur together, I can hardly tell the difference. It comes so fast I think I am spinning; I can not see anything clearly.

Just when I think I can not take it anymore, everything stops. I am in a place where only my dreams exist. 

I find myself staring into light gray eyes that blink back, a mouth upturned in a contagious smile. 

She looks right into me and her smile seems to brighten. Heightening the silvery glow around her as she spoke with the voice of the wind. 

"Legolas."

***

Before I can respond, I feel myself back in the palace gardens. 

Flower petals of a shimmering white are being thrown up in the air as the newlyweds make their way through the crowd and into the ballroom where the festivities are to be held. I can hear Gimli beside me muttering about the crude cuisine that men served. Sigh… that dwarf…

And suddenly I feet empty again.

"Legolas."

I shiver from the inside, as a warm presence fills my being. A sad realization suddenly sparks in my mind from out of nowhere. It seems that I am not being myself tonight. 

But my name…Legolas was the first and last thing she ever said to me.

I'm lost my own thoughts again, and I'm afraid that there might have been several people there that thought me positively crazed. I think I would have laughed then as well at my despondent disposition that evening…if it weren't for the seriousness of it all. 

But oh gods above, why now? Why can't I be happy that she is in a much better place that I… can never reach… 

That is just it isn't it? The fact that she is not here with me now, that like any sad story there is so much unsaid… And yes I still love her, though many think me not capable of feeling for anyone at all. That is simply unfair and untrue. If they only knew.

A small sweet-smelling flower being thrown joyously at the King and Queen in celebration crosses barely inches from my face, bringing me back. I put on a smile, and cheer along with the others, trying to ignore the wrong I feet then. 

I have not felt this way since she died. And now…now it is coming back.

***

A/N: What do you guys think? My first fic of course… I was just curious to get into the mind of Legolas Greenleaf for once… This would be some of the history of another fic called "Mesmerize Me" I'm writing at the moment, in which Legolas and Nilnarien's past together will be actually very influential. 


	2. Chapter 1

Prelude: Nilnarien

Chapter 1:

No song is sung of my Nilnarien anymore, to others she is a mere memory. Oh, but to me she is everything. I have heard different stories in Mirkwood about her, she is well known in my home because she and I were to be betrothed. But either than her grace, beauty and charm, they know nothing else. They knew nothing of her flaws, which I loved more than her perfections.

Elves do not like being kept in the dark, and so everything must have an explanation. Their reason for her death, the stories, say that she was picked by my father to be my bride and that I never gave her the time of day. That she poisoned herself because I would not love her, because I had no need for affection. 

If only they knew. 

I had never corrected them before, out of grief I suppose, for when she died I shut the whole world away. But now, I realize that I have been unfair. To her especially, her memory so different from who she really was. My beloved would never have killed herself, she had a strength that mattered more than heaving boulders. She was more then a pretty face and a heavenly voice. And I *loved* her. I did, and still do. Even if it does break my heart.

So while you're here let me tell you my story. Our story, Nilnarien's and mine. And when you hear others spreading sensational fairy tale versions of our ill fate, you will know better. 

***

It starts without her of course, and centuries earlier from where we now stand. 

The only memories I have of those times before she came into my life were those of the ordinary sort. I trained my skills in swords, archery and riding; I attended various festivities, as all princes should. Back then I had never set foot out of the forests, but then I never really cared to then. All I knew was that I was a wood elf, and in the woods I must stay. After all, orcs were always a problem, and someone was needed to lead the warriors to slay them.

Sigh…

She turned my life so gloriously upside down. 

Thinking back now to those times, I have to laugh at myself. And now that I know better, I can't help but feel embarrassed that I, Legolas, son of Lord Thranduil and one of the Fellowship, was once a closed minded ignorant fool.

To never have seen the world that surrounded my kingdom, that I may have known the dangers that lurked then and be well prepared. Never spending even but a moment with my people, always off into the dark forests in search of trouble. Ha! Such a prince to serve my people I must have been, to busy myself in my own little world of bows and orcs. 

I didn't even pause to think about the things that mattered most. It was not the security of the kingdom, or the number beasts I destroyed. It was the spirit of my people. 

Such callow perception I had… but nothing can be changed now. Along the road of living for so long I found myself changed. What's done is done, and I have learned to accept my past. I have learned to accept my fate, whatever it may be.

But always, my thoughts never used to stray away from the pale hair and gray eyes. Always, back to the night I had first met her… now only a faded memory. Often, I've caught myself scared at the thought that I would one day forget everything about her.

Never. That would never happen. 

Instead I think of how different my life would have been if I did not meet her then…

***

It was the season of silver and shimmering white. Some feared this time of year the most, those who did not understand that it was necessary for the green and gold to fade for a moment underneath the soft blankets of snow. 

And I? I must confess that I did not bother to think much about these things. As long as there was peace and order, as long as I knew that winter would soon turn into spring and spring to summer and fall, it did not matter.

Neither did the usual preparations fascinate me either. It was not going to be any different from any winter festival I had always attended each year anyway. But I was proven wrong yet again. 

I had arrived fashionably late for the occasion, however I wasn't worried at all. I knew that my father would let that one little detail slide, for he knew I was training yet again. Of course then I didn't think whether he became furious or not would have mattered to me at all. 

Sigh, it was an attitude of mine I had not bothered to recognize then for arrogance. But I was right, father did not say a word, he merely looked at me with a strange look on his face. A look I did not recognize then, but now I realize he was mildly exasperated and wearied at my constant running around. 

But everything went on as usual, the dancing, the feasting and drinking… everything was quite dull to me actually. The food and drink were… just to fill our stomachs. Nothing to be so delighted about. And the dancing… the music was everywhere it seemed, and the people were twirling and spinning and… it made me quite dizzy. I contented myself to sit in the table usually reserved for the prince. There I could see my kinsmen in merry making from a brief distance. 

It was not long before the maidens started to form in crowds near my table, they talked in hushed whispers and giggles stealing glances my way when they thought that I did not notice. Unfortunately for them, I did. 

Females. Oh, they were a mystery to me. Back then I never really got to know any of their kind too well. I simply did not care. From what I had been told by my warriors at that time, I seemed to have had a reputation with the ladies of Mirkwood. That left me puzzled. 

How could they fantasize about a prince who rarely even showed his face in the King's courts? I knew none of the girls, I don't think that I had ever even spoken twice to one of them before. It seemed to me then that one earns his good reputation by not doing anything at all. Such a laughable concept. And if one wanted the attention of the elf maidens one should hardly show his face to them and maintain a mysterious and brooding air. 

I was young then, therefore I did not understand the passion that underlay the puzzle.

Sighing heavily to myself, I consumed the last of my berry wine in a single tilt of my silver goblet. When would this all end anyway, so that I may get back to my training? I let out a heavy sigh then as I started to stand up, having decided to leave regardless. 

And as if on cue, the whole room fell into silence. Not because I had stood up from my seat, they were not even looking at my direction. The music stopped, leaving only the silence of the wood that was eerie…and yet safe, ringing in my ears. The dancers… well no one was moving it seemed, all of them transfixed on the certain something that was in the middle of the dance floor. 

Silence. They were waiting for something. 

Slowly, the gentle fluid sound of strings being played filled my ears. The carefully played notes came faintly to me at first, just a glissando of tones ringing, drawing me nearer to where the sound was coming from. It was like ripples in the water, clear and flowing. But as I drew closer and closer, the melody of a sweet, sad song became unmistakable. 

Each note seemed to vibrate through the air with certain fragility to it that I thought that if I drew a breath, the soothing music would dissipate into the cold night air. I made my way through the crowd, all of them looking to the center of the circle they had formed about where the sound was coming from. Some of them were whispering to one another, but so softly that even my elfin ears could barely hear them. Still some others were just listening in politely, without the calmness in their faces like the rest of us here. Most of the circle stayed quiet, enthralled by the soothing music. 

The music of a harp, I recognized it then. It was an instrument fairly known to us for millennia, and yet I had never heard anyone play with such… feeling. The sadness was alarming, I felt the flowing melody touch my senses, filling me with a desire to suddenly value the moment of complete blissful serenity. 

Slipping by the last elf, and finally reaching the front of the crowd, I looked up and laid my eyes on her for the first time. 

An elf maiden was playing the harp, her fingers gently yet surely running over the strings to make the music that everyone was listening to. Her pale hair fell like a waterfall down her shoulders, the whole time her eyes were closed, her attention to the feel of the strings on the tips of her fingers. All the while each note she played struck me even more. 

I watched as the moments passed me by. There was only that sad, sad tune… But then I saw her, she was… smiling. And whereas every tune she sent out made me want to weep, she only smiled more, as if the sad song gave her strength and rapture. So I stood there, confused for a moment. Was something wrong with this maiden to seem to be enlivened by the sorrow of the piece that she played?

I did not have time to reflect on it any longer, for then the piece seemed to reach its close, the glissando of the overture slowly, softly ringing in my ears again as she ended her piece with its beginning. A few seconds later, it stopped completely. The outbreak of applause jolted me from my reasoning, and I found myself cheering and clapping along with the rest of the crowd.

The talented musician's hands hovered for a while by the strings of her instrument, as her smile seemed to shine at our cheers. Slowly, she lowered her hands down to her lap, and opened her eyes. Standing up to face the delighted gathering, she bowed in humble acceptance and the crowd applauded even more. 

By then I had already turned my back away from the clapping and cheering and headed to the archery field again. The ghosts of a sorrowing song echoing in my head.

A/N: Comments anyone?


End file.
